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There’s not a whole lot I ask of a roll of tissue paper. Sure, you don’t want sandpaper consistency (like we saw over in Germany). Likewise you don’t want paper so thin that you have to double or triple it. But I guess my main pet peeve is that it must ROLL off the dispenser. Hampton Inn take note: I appreciate that you wedged an extra roll of tissue paper behind the dispenser . . . but not at the expense of taking up so much space that the tissue paper is stuck in place. Now you must waste precious seconds of life manipulating the roll to get it to squeeze on around. This is unacceptable.

The core competency of a roll of tissue paper is that it must ROLL freely. Maybe you thought you were economizing by purchasing the jumbo size roll — but if it doesn’t fit the dispenser, forget it! I realize some of you that have visited my home probably have your own pet peeve — e.g. tissue paper dispensers that are not fastened tightly to the wall — OK, I grant that is a deficiency (one that should be easy to correct) — but at least the rolling function is not impeded.