BIG IDEA:
STAYING SINGLE HAS MUCH TO COMMEND ITSELF . . . BUT MARRIAGE IS STILL A GOOD OPTION
(:25) INTRODUCTION – LISTEN TO ME ON THIS SUBJECT
A. Topic: Responding to a Particular Question Regarding Virgins
“Now concerning virgins”
We must understand that Paul was asked a specific question or was addressing particular circumstances that faced the believers of his day in Corinth.
He starts out with his focus on the virgins . . . but then expands his answer since most of the same principles would apply to any unmarried parties – those who had been divorced, widows, etc.
Paul had been answering questions regarding sexual relations in marriage, regarding whether singleness or marriage was appropriate for different groups, and whether conversion requires a change in one’s outward physical circumstances. He now leaves the more general discussion of overall contentment to finish with his discussion of the single state vs. marriage.
B. Tone: Sanctified Guidance vs Authoritative Command
“I have no command of the Lord, but I give an opinion as one who by the mercy of the Lord is trustworthy.”
The Lord did not provide teaching in this area and Paul is not trying to command any particular practice. He is led by the Spirit to provide principles that require application depending on the situation.
SIX CLARIFICATIONS ABOUT GETTING MARRIED VS REMAINING SINGLE
(OR SIX REASONS FAVORING REMAINING SINGLE)
(Largely following outline of Dr. John MacArthur in this section)
I. (:26-28A) CLARIFICATION #1: PERILOUS TIMES WOULD FAVOR REMAINING SINGLE
A. Basis for Paul’s Argument: Pressure of Immediate Circumstances
“I think then that this is good in view of the present distress,”
Stedman: My own view is that because the apostle is aware of the fact that he is writing Scripture — that it is for all Christians in all times, as he infers in some of his letters — that he is not talking about any particular, immediate crisis then, but he is referring to the returning crisis that every generation of Christians have to face. Remember in Second Timothy the apostle says to his son in the faith, “that in the last days perilous times shall come,” {2 Tim 3:1 KJV}. I think it is a mistake to read that as though he meant “in these last days,” or “in the last days” as a reference only to the time preceding the return of Christ. Actually the church is always living in “these last days.” They stretch from the first coming of Christ to his second return, as Hebrews 1 makes clear where it says, “God, who at sundry times and in divers manners spake in time past unto the fathers by the prophets, hath in these last days spoken unto us by his Son,” {Heb 1:1-2a KJV}. Therefore, this is a reference to what Paul thinks of as continuing, returning cycles of trouble.
B. Basic Conviction — Maintain the Status Quo (Applies to everyone)
1. Categorical Judgment
“that it is good for a man to remain as he is.”
Immediate group in view was the single man – this is the emphasis
2. Application to both Married and Unmarried – but Paul gives a word to both
a. Application to Married – Stay Married
“Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be released.”
b. Application to Unmarried – Don’t Pursue Marriage
“Are you released from a wife? Do not seek a wife?”
C. Balancing Perspective: Getting Married is a Valid Option
“But if you marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned.”
II. (:28B) CLARIFICATION #2: PRESSURES OF MARRIAGE WOULD FAVOR REMAINING SINGLE
A. Caution of Inevitable Pressures
“Yet such will have trouble in this life,”
B. Compassion of Pastoral Heart
“and I am trying to spare you.”
III. (:29-31) CLARIFICATION #3: PASSING OF THE WORLD WOULD FAVOR REMAINING SINGLE
A. Priority of Serving the Lord – Given the Short Window of Opportunity
“But this I say, brethren, the time has been shortened,”
Hodge: It is the design of God in allowing us but a brief period in this world, or in this state, that we should set lightly by all earthly things;
B. 5 Applications – Don’t be Distracted from Serving the Lord by:
1. Marriage
“so that from now on those who have wives should be as though they had none;”
2. Misery
“and those who weep, as though they did not weep;”
3. Merriment
“and those who rejoice, as though they did not rejoice;”
4. Material Possessions
“and those who buy, as though they did not possess;”
5. Mundane Pursuits
“and those who use the world, as though they did not make full use of it;”
C. Reason for Such Urgency
“for the form of this world is passing away.”
IV. (:32-35) CLARIFICATION #4: PREOCCUPATIONS OF MARRIAGE WOULD FAVOR REMAINING SINGLE
A. The Goal = Undistracted Devotion to the Lord
“But I want you to be free from concern.”
B. The Reality = Marriage Complicates the Situation
1. Case of the Single Person
“One who is unmarried is concerned about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord;”
2. Case of the Married Person
“but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife, and his interests are divided.”
3. Case of the Single Person
“The woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit;”
4. Case of the Married Person
“but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband.”
C. The Motivation Behind This Instruction = to Promote the Goal
“This I say for your own benefit; not to put a restraint upon you, but to promote what is appropriate and to secure undistracted devotion to the Lord.”
V. (:36-38) CLARIFICATION #5: PERSONAL CONVICTION MAY FAVOR EITHER SINGLENESS OR MARRIAGE
A. The Father May Choose to Marry Off His Virgin Daughter
“But if any man thinks that he is acting unbecomingly toward his virgin daughter, if she is past her youth, and if it must be so, let him do what he wishes, he does not sin; let her marry.”
B. The Father Does Well to Keep His Virgin Daughter
“But he who stands firm in his heart, being under no constraint, but has authority over his own will, and has decided this in his own heart, to keep his own virgin daughter, he will do well.”
C. Both Options are Good . . . But Singleness Still has More to Commend It
“So then both he who gives his own virgin daughter in marriage does well, and he who does not give her in marriage will do better.”
VI. (:39-40) CLARIFICATION #6: PERSEVERANCE IN THE STATUS QUO IS WHAT PAUL RECOMMENDS FOR OLDER WIDOWS
A. Permanence of Marriage Must be Honored
“A wife is bound as long as her husband lives”
B. Freedom to Remarry in Certain Situations
“but if her husband is dead, she is free to be married to whom she wishes,”
C. Caveat Regarding Marriage for Any Believer – Must be to another Believer
“only in the Lord”
D. Status Quo Has Much to Commend Itself
“But in my opinion she is happier is she remains as she is; and I think that I also have the Spirit of God.”
Stedman: He is obviously thinking of an older woman, a widow whose husband has died, who is left alone, and facing the declining years of her life. She misses the companionship, she misses the fellowship of her mate, and, in the emptiness of her life, she is tempted to plunge back into marriage just for companionship alone. “Now,” Paul says, “be careful there.” That is an emotional pressure and many succumb to it without any thought about what the alternatives might be. But, he says, if she does succumb it is all right; it is not a sin to remarry as long as it is to a Christian, someone “in the Lord’ — whom she can share her faith and life with — “But in my judgment she is happier if she remains unmarried.”